and so it ends...

today as bobby walked out of the house to take the kids to school he looked at me and said "enjoy the last day of being 42." he kissed me and went on his way not knowing the impact those words left on me.

sure it's just another friday.  another day with lots of things on the to-do list.  but it's also the last day to fill with memories of my forty second year of life.

i sat at the table drinking my coffee and eating my toast (the blueberry streusel breakfast bread) and wondered was this year all that it could be?  did i make the most of the last 365 days? what is the story that this year will tell?

for sure it was filled with happy memories.  places we explored. good food. conversations that made us laugh, think, maybe even cry.

i worked hard on choosing happiness.

i found creativity and my imagination.

i ran 2 half marathons, and hundreds of miles in between.  this truly changed who i am, what i think i am capable of and showed me the strength i never knew i had.

i gave of my time and talent to our school and watched it grow.

i learned a lot about being a leader and realized i still have a lot to learn.

i had to trust - in faith, in myself, in all things good and positive. and then trust that i would be ok with whatever the outcome was.

i made new friendships and strengthened existing ones.

my life looked back at me in the eyes of my children.  3 unbelievably amazing kids.  they are a reflection of who we are - and that's kind of awesome.

i was challenged and tested this year.

i had to stand up for myself and acknowledge when the fight was just not worth it.

i had to be honest with others and with myself.

i learned (and am still learning) to let it go.

i looked for guidance and inspiration. and let it sink in.

i defined myself more clearly.

i learned to enjoy stillness - taking in every breath fully.

i took chances but maybe not quite enough. i played it safe more often than not.

i loved him with everything that i am and he loved me back.  truly nothing feels better than that.

it was indeed a wonderful year.

and so it begins.

a new year.

the best year.

i have plans and goals, of course.

i am daring to live greatly - a more meaningful and vulnerable life.

filling this year with more risk, more potential for failure but also for greater accomplishment.

i want to be all in.

in the end what will really matter is that i can say that i lived this year with purpose.