from the moment your baby is born, or the time you find out you are pregnant, you realize how fragile your heart is. with every cry, every booboo, every sleepless night your heart breaks. your instinct to protect is greater and more fierce. there is something that unlocks in your heart that you never knew existed, yet was always there. you literally watch your heart walk around outside your body and hope that it will not get hurt. this risk has such a beautiful reward. those smiles, those eyes, the little hands that hold yours. the love that comes back to you is immeasurable. it is scary at times but worth every moment.
they love with honesty. they love whole heartedly. they love without reserve. even on those days when you feel like your not doing your best they will say "you are the best mom ever." they don't care what you look like, what size you wear, or how long it's been since you've showered. they think you are beautiful, smart and they feel safe. they understand you better than you think and they sense your emotion. this love is the greatest gift.
bobby and i have worked hard to set some clear rules. not just about how long they can watch tv or how much candy they can have. but in how to treat people, to have compassion, that their voice matters. we don't just want to have good kids, we want them to be adults that care about themselves and the world. we struggled at the beginning, knowing what is the right thing to do. parenting is a very hard thing to do. you have to hold your ground, learn the art of distraction and not always let them get their way. but in the end we see the result. and it is good.
i could have said that last year. and i will say that next year. every year gets better and better. i think right now the fact that i'm not chasing a toddler, or changing diapers is a wonderful place to be. the fact that we have conversations at the dinner table where everyone contributes and listens. the fact that they ask each other how their day was when they get in the car after school. the fact that they help each other out getting a glass of milk or solving a problem with a friend. this is the life i've always dreamed of for myself (maybe in just a slightly bigger house). but this dream is so much bigger and better than i could have hoped for.
5. i have the best partner.
we are on the same page in our "parenting book". we know what kind of parents we want to be. and we know what we want for the kids. when i start to waver he is there to hold me up. when life gets frustrating, he steps in and gives me some relief. he reminds me what our goal is. he also makes me see another perspective. he gives me a nudge or reminds me to cut them some slack. and he makes me laugh. through bed rest and labor, through self doubt and stubborness, through tears and laughter, from picking out clothes to picking out a school, he is there.
my life is so blessed.
happy mother's day to all of the beautiful mom's in my life, new and experienced. i learn from you, hope to be like you and love the moments i share with you. thank you.
have a lovely weekend.