five people twelve times:: 2.11

february

the shortest month of the year but filled with so much love.

we looked up at the sky a lot this month.  during the day it was to watch the clouds go by, or the rain come down, or to catch a bit of the sun rays when it would peek out. the weather seemed to take some drastic turns this month.  it even drove our friends back home to sacramento at the threat of snow closing down the freeway.

at night we were looking at the moon for andrew's month long moon journal.  he observed the night sky every few nights and wrote about what he saw, heard and felt.  it had all of us wondering was that a waxing gibbous or a waning gibbous?  what constellations could we see?  many nights we didn't see the moon and that made for some inventive entries.

we managed to avoid the dreaded flu that was making the rounds at school.  students and teachers were out for days.  but we made it through unscathed.  lots of hand washing and chicken soup seemed to do the trick.  bobby swore by emergen-c too.

we made it to the snow one more time.  this weather brought many inches of fresh powder to kernville.  no skiing this time, just sledding and snowball fights.

my sister is getting married this year.  so, we got to go dress shopping with her and the bridesmaids.  the five of us + my mom sat and watched as she tried on dress after dress.  full ones, fitted ones, beaded ones, princess ones.  it was so fun to see her dressed up and looking like a bride.  she did end up choosing a beautiful dress but i won't share the pictures.  it's bad luck!

bobby has been working really hard on a few projects at work that look like they may be taking off.  one of them in particular is a very personal project that has been getting some attention.  we are praying that it finds it's way into the right hands.

andrew started playing baseball at our new league.  it's more laid back then where we have played before but andrew is a laid back kind of player, so it works.  we have a lot of friends in this league and they seem very organized and concerned with the learning more than the stats.  so we are excited.  bobby is one of the assistant coaches too.

bobby and i went to a parenting lecture at the preschool.  we have been struggling with sofia and felt like we needed some reinforcement and new perspective.  the lecture focused on defining the personality of each child and then how parenting must adapt to each personality.  as luck would have it we have one of each. a compliant child that lives by the rules.  a fence sitter that follows the rules until they see where they can bend some of them.  and a strong willed child that sets their own rules.  ok, it's not that cut and dry but that's the basics. i'll let you figure out which is which.

one of the things that stuck with us is that we can't change who the child is.  the strong willed child will always be strong willed, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.  but we can't parent her (i mean "that child") the way we do the others.  it just doesn't work the same and we both end up frustrated.  we have to adjust our parenting to that child.  and we are working on that.

it's not anything we haven't heard before.  set the expectation, give a consequence, let them choose and then follow through.  what will take one child one warning to get something done will take another child one warning and a time out and another child one warning, a time out, kicking and screaming, 20 minutes of crying, more consequence and then they get it.  we both get it.  so far it's working.  we just have to be consistent and follow through.  here's the book we read in case you are interested in learning more about this technique.

we are always working on being better parents.  sometimes it feels like because we have three kids we should know what we're doing.  for the most part we know what to do but we don't always do it. and sometimes it's just a complete disaster. i admit that it's easy to give in to the whining, or nagging.  it can be easier than having to deal with the tantrum, especially in public.  but if we want certain behaviors to stop we have to be firm, no matter what the reaction.  some times i realize that i put sofia through a lot.  she goes to pto meetings with me, the grocery store, dr's appointments.  she would rather be playing at home or at school, but this is life right now for us.  i see what a few more moments of my time and undivided attention mean to her.  i am making an effort to show her that i love spending time with just her.  pretty soon she'll be in kindergarten and this time will be gone.  i want us to have fun memories together.  i want a little more peace and a lot less struggle.  it takes time, and lots of patience.

february was a good month for growth and accomplishment.