not just another blog post

this was not just another monday morning.
it was waking up to a new day with everyone in my family.
i had more patience than i have ever known.
making breakfast, ironing clothes, making lunches and not feeling burdened but blessed.
sitting at the table with her, my 7 year old, and wanting so badly to cry.
not getting upset because they weren't moving fast enough, or not brushing their hair.
it was about savoring this moment before they were off to school for the day.

this was not just another sunday night.
it was saying yes to computers and tv.
allowing for one more cookie, even though they had had their fill at our annual family cookie bake.
snuggling with her in our bed for 15 minutes past her bedtime.
it was me hopping into her bed and not rushing off to get something else done.
i stared at her. i caressed her.
it was extra kisses and extra "i love you's".

this was not just another weekend.
bobby and i were on our way to palm springs when we heard the tragic news.
we wanted to go home, but he had a commitment.
we knew they were safe.
i missed them like crazy.
we called them more times than we had planned.
i cried. a lot. all weekend.
it was not the kind of weekend we had hoped for.
it was scary and devastating and unthinkable.
it was happening to someone else but i felt the pain.
every mother felt the pain.

this is not just another blog post.
this is my therapy.
this is how i cope.
this is the acknowledgment to not take one moment for granted.
this is not about gun control or mental illness.
this is about sharing in pain and grief and innocence lost.
this is evidence of the life we live.
this is a wake up call to be grateful everyday.
this is about strength.
this is about doing what i can to make this world a better place.
this is about raising children with love and compassion.
this is about honoring heroes.
this is about honoring those little lives lost.

this is goodness over evil.